|It's always better on holiday...
||[Feb. 2nd, 2009|04:03 am]
The Roman Gnome
Wow. I'm actually updating this journal. It's going to be half-assed, but it's a start.
1.) SUNY New Paltz sent confirmation of my leave of absence... about three days before the spring semester began. This is why New Paltz was always the school for me. We have the same ideals; "Why do today what can be done tomo- Oh shit, it's due tomorrow. Fuck, fuck, fuck."
2.) The spring semester started January 20th. So, that means if I was attending classes this would be week three and I'd probably be putting off an essay due next week.
3.) I've visited New Paltz four times already. The first day of classes I came to make my rounds, but it was mostly to end a relationship. Thursday I had a drunken debacle at 80s night with my best friend from home (who hadn't left for SUNY Fredonia yet), two exes, an infamous bisexual, and many, many people I've forgotten (and hopefully they've forgotten me, too).
The last two trips were to visit my most recent ex. Ah...
4.) The job search continues. Can I be honest? I'm doing a better job at recapping the past month than filling out applications. My mother is ready to lash out at me any day now. I don't know when or if I'll be interviewed for a job I applied for at the post office. My high school creative writing teacher told me I should try for a job at her husband's pub. And then there is always Mohonk...
I'm getting ahead of myself.
5.) So, how is the actual leave? The actual "being away from school"? "Finding myself"? "Traveling"? "New found dedication to writing and finishing my first novel"?
... Not experienced? Is that the phrase I want to use?
I feel pretty pathetic. I want to expend my energies on something productive but, what energies? I have none.
I knew I'd frustrate myself by writing this entry which is why I've been avoiding it. It's hard to admit I'm lost and I'm being pulled further into the abyss. I'm taking baby steps to get out of it, though. I'm learning a lot of basic things I feel I should have learned a long time ago- Things the majority of people can do with ease and multitask with.
I'm not the majority, though.
Well, I'm going to keep taking those baby steps- Maybe not even baby steps. In the real world, I suppose all I'm doing in rocking back and forth on my back and drooling.
I'll let you know when I've rolled onto my front.